The RDF
Best Man's Guide
to the Stag Night
Here at RDF we know a thing, or two about stag nights and we feel there are a few essentials you should know to make your mans stag night the best he could possibly get.
Congratulations for being chosen to be a best man you would be amazed how many men never get the chance. But with this comes some responsibility. Being a great best man takes work and some times sacrifice but this is a small cost to pay for your best mate
Simple rules of a stag night.
1. Do NOT kill the Stag
2. Do NOT get the stag arrested
3. Do NOT get the stag beaten up
4. Do NOT lose the stag.
5. Do NOT leave the stag in a position that any of the above could happen
Those are the rules. Everything else is optional.
1.Youre in charge.
As the best man it is important, very important that this is the stags, stag night. Not the good looking bloke who is on the pull and wants to go clubbing straight away so that he can dump the stag for shag. Do not be swayed by strong personalities.
2. Plan it.
Crap stag nights are the ones where youre not sure what youre doing, where youre going, how many of you there are, and youve made no prior arrangements with anybody. Bars and clubs tend not to like stag nights, 99% of stag nights are fine, nice lads, good fun and no problems whatsoever. 1% of stag nights, are the owners worst nightmare come true. Rather than take the risk of having that 1% they turn away the other 99. The best way not to be turned away, is to make contact with the venue you want to go to, leave them with contact details and let them know you will be responsible for your stag night, this will put the owners mind at rest and you will have a far better chance of getting in. During your stag night you will try to organize something in each bar that you visit, its sometimes better too stay away from the town centre bars and do the back street ones where you have a far greater chance of the landlord being receptive to your requests. Some ideas are Yard of Ale, Strippergram, Dressing him as a woman, drinking pint of cream (this will make him sick) and any thing else you can think of. Drinking games tend not to be a good idea, as you end up drinking too much too quick.
3. Know your group.
In every stag group you get a mixture of personalities, some of your group never go drinking, some of them drink every week. The demon drink changes peoples personalities, you need to know which ones can handle it and which ones cant and make sure that at the start of the stag night you warn the ones that cant take their drink, or can become a problem, because if that does happen, they will be left to their own devices and they are letting the rest of the group down.
4. Keep your stag in the game
Its really important that your stag remembers the entire stag night if he is too pissed to stand up by nine oclock, you failed as a best man. The only time he should collapse is into his bed, just before you shave his eyebrow off. Pace him, stag nights can be very long sometimes starting at nine am. There is no point whatsoever in having your stag too pissed too early. If you are on the piss all day make sure he eats and takes an hour here or there of slow drinking (sounds like we need to wipe his arse as well...) In the long run, youll all have a far better stag night.
5. Humiliation
A stag should have no control, input or idea over what you have planned for him, a stag night is what the stag wants, a stag night is a chance for his friends to show him what he is giving up. (Nights out with the boys)It is also important that your stag suffers as a result of his stupidity, and this suffering is your responsibility Humiliation should not include, bleeding, vomiting, crying, shagging really ugly women, fighting. Should include; Strippers, corporal punishment, waxing, shaving, painting, dressing as a woman and so on. Sometimes the best man wants to take things too far, the is unwise as you are his best friend and a joke taken too far, isnt a joke at all and you could end up losing your friendship
6. Pictures
Pictures are really important so take as many cameras as you can and take as many pictures as you can
7. Money
You should organise a whip, its s good idea and can stop a lot of arguments start with £30 then add £20 if and when necessary make sure you hold the whip as it helps you control the stags intake of alcohol thus keeping him in the game.
8. What to wear
Here at RDF we have seen loads of different outfits from the more traditional dressing as women to the outright strange can of spam. Dressing up is fine but make that your chosen venues know you are wearing it and dont have a problem. It can also be a pain to look like wankers all night high heels hurt and spam tends to chafe
9. Door staff
Door staff are WANKERS not all but most. They will go out of their way to not let you in or cause you a problem if they do. Do not give them a reason to do this try your best to keep the boys under some sort of control do not argue with them you will not win just say sorry to the pricks back down and have a great night
Bouncer !!! ha ha
10. Dealing with the
wankers in your group
You have a mixed group of lads most you will know some you may not and within this group you may have some wankers these are the lads that cant take their drink become at first annoying then complete wankers .These lads are going to ruin your night so its best to get rid of them the first thing to try is to loose them wait till they go for a piss then leave if this doesnt work then have a quite word with a bouncer explain the situation and they will be more than happy to help they will come up with some crap reason to get the prat to the door then wont let them back in
JOB DONE.
RDF Best Mans Guide
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